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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Forgive Your Enemies, But....

Forgive your enemy jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
The Scots have lots of great ideas!

You can string together proverbs like this and have a real game plan for life. For instance:

Trust, but verify.

Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard's name.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Don't hold grudges, but know who your friends are - and who aren't.





Sunday, April 28, 2013

Easy Way to Clean Your Oven

Clean the Oven the Easy Way

Your oven, before cleaning using this method, and after.



I always like easy ways to do hard stuff. If you've ever cleaned an oven after letting it sit for... too long, you'll appreciate this:


Begin by preheating the oven to 150 degrees F. While the oven is heating, put on a pot of water to boil. Once the oven has reached 150 F, turn it off and pour 1 cup of ammonia into a heat safe bowl or baking dish and place it on the top rack of the oven. Place the pot of boiling water on the bottom rack, close the oven door, and leave them both in the oven overnight.

The next morning, open the oven and remove both the bowl of ammonia and the pot of water. Don’t dispose of the ammonia; you’ll want to use it later. Remove the racks and leave the oven door open to air out for 15 minutes. Add 1-2 teaspoons of liquid dish soap to the ammonia, along with a quart of warm water, and using a heavy-duty nylon scrubbing pad dipped in the ammonia mixture, begin to wipe away the softened grease and grime along the sides and bottom of the oven. It should be a fairly easy job at this point. Wear some kitchen gloves, since ammonia can be caustic to skin.

The ammonia should smell noticeably less powerful after sitting overnight and doing its "dirty work."




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Saturday, April 27, 2013

Concorde Landing at Princess Juliana Airport

Concorde Air France St Maarten jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
Notice how few people are taking pictures of this epic moment


I have no real reason for posting this pictures, except for the fact that it is such a cool picture.


In 1989, an Air France Concorde made one-time flight to the Caribbean island of St. Maarten/St. Martin. This is the airport right at the edge of the beach (Maho Beach) where people can stand right under the flight path as jets zoom in only a few dozen feet above them. This event never happened again, not even once, and now never can. The airport hasn't forgotten. This photo remains on display, just after security, in the terminal at St. Juliana Airport (SXM). Just shows that technology may improve, but style is timeless.





Thursday, April 25, 2013

Important Lesson for the Young



Russian filmmaker and writer Andrei Tarkovsky gives some advice on the most important lesson we all need to learn as a child if we want to be happy as adults.

Below is a translation of what is said in the video (at least up until the horse part).


What would you like to tell people?

I don’t know… I think I’d like to say only that they should learn to be alone and try to spend as much time as possible by themselves. I think one of the faults of young people today is that they try to come together around events that are noisy, almost aggressive at times. This desire to be together in order to not feel alone is an unfortunate symptom, in my opinion. Every person needs to learn from childhood how to be spend time with oneself. That doesn’t mean he should be lonely, but that he shouldn’t grow bored with himself because people who grow bored in their own company seem to me in danger, from a self-esteem point of view.





Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Hurt me, and.....

Don't hurt

Be a lover, not a hurter.


Great Minds

Great Minds discuss ideas jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
Truer words were never written

I am amazed at the pettiness and backbiting of some folks. Just give your opinion of your neighbor's lifestyle a rest and think about something that isn't negative.


Sunday, April 21, 2013

I'm not an Alcoholic, I'm....


Drunks are always a lot more fun than alcoholics!


Wine Types

Wine Types




Confused about the types of wine and what to order when you go out to a fancy restaurant? This graph might help you out.

Ready for a Bedroom Experiment

Now, think it through hard, don't want to be too hasty!


Yes, it's time to make the big leap.


A Typical Weekend

A cool cat jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
What a cool cat

Been there, done that.

Protest Signs I Support

The ONLY Protest Signs I Support


Protest signs we'd LIKE to see!!! If only people were actually writing about what they were really, deep down, actually thinking at these things.....





All in a Day's Work

Cat and dog jjbjorkman.blogspot.com


What are you looking at? Haven' you ever seen a puppy before?

Don't Mess with Chuck

Chuck Norris jjbjorkman.blogspot.com


Some guys you just don't mess with. Even Big Bad Leroy Brown doesn't mess with Chuck.



Slow it Down!

Slow down jjbjorkman.blogspot.com


The ice is bad enough, never mind the deer....

Register My Arms

register my arms jjbjorkman.blogspot.com


Yeah, yeah... you know, what he said!

Monday, April 8, 2013

Better to Look Back and Say....

Guy Advice: Try Different Things

I can't believe I did that jjbjorkman.blogspot.com


Yes, it is better to try and fail than not try at all. I can guarantee that you will feel better about your choices if you do that. Live a humdrum life and you'l be no better than the squirrels in the trees and the ants on your floor.

Iceland Leads the Way

Seriously, How Can You Argue with What Iceland's President is Saying?

Justice. Kind of a radical concept, eh?

Tiny Iceland kicked out the fraudsters and made them pay for their crimes. Kind of difficult to even imagine. In the larger democracies, everything is "too big to fail" and "it wasn't really their fault" and "a bail-out is necessary to avoid a complete collapse."

We need more people like this guy in charge. If you think that's a political statement, you're damn right.


Friday, April 5, 2013

He'll Get to It!

Seriously, Don't Be a Nag!

remind men to fix things every six months jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
He's just hoping he dies before the damn thing breaks completely

We've all seen this phenomenon. I've seen women give nice things away because their men simply won't get up off the couch or away from waxing his car or whatever other shiny thing interests him and do a quick repair of something valuable.

Is it Love? Or Not?

How To Tell you are in Love

love means having feelings for another person jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
This is a great test for whether you are in "love" or not

This isn't what other people are going to tell you, but....

Being in love is a serious thing. It's almost right up there with cancer - if it's real and serious, it will never go away, and you'll die with it. Very tricky thing, love is, and most people get it wrong. Before you start assuming and making commitments, think long and hard - it can be a terminal condition.





Thursday, April 4, 2013

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Guy Advice: Solving Problems

Guy Advice: Solving Problems

Problem solving diagram jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
Always try to get to "No Problem" quickly!


Do you have a problem? Follow the diagram, and learn!

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Classic Ad

No, This is not an Endorsement



I don't post ads very often as content, but this one is just too good to pass up. If anyone is interested in becoming a copywriter - heck, any kind of writer - they should study this ad like the Bible. Economy of writing, punchy, a nice kicker, and then the resolution. Hemingway, if he had been an ad man, would have written stuff like this. You know what's coming, you've seen it all before, but when you get to the end, you still chuckle in satisfaction. Brilliant.

How Not To Drive A Tank

Well, Everyone Has to Learn Sometime....

Tiger Tank jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
Tiger Tank, World War II

Yes, that's how we picture it. The big, bad tank driving down the road, ready to give them Hell. Let's see how it sometimes turns out in reality, though.



Now, if you ever want to drive a tank, pay close attention: this is how not to do it.

Guy Advice: Texts

Guy Advice: The Fundamentals

Texting girl jjbjorkman.blogspot.com

As part of my continuing efforts to help guys get along better with the ladies, herewith my latest revelation from my covert undercover intelligence sources. I must be up front on this, though, and admit that I, personally, have seen this practice being carried out. It is most often done after your girlfriend says something like, "I am going to the library to study" or "I have some girl shopping to do, I'll be back in an hour." Instead, the subject heads straight to her BFF's apartment, where other shadowy female figures soon congregate amidst jars of yogurt, candles and fluffy pillows.

Any guy who has dated enough women will run into this phenomenon at some point in some form (girls also like to gather together to read deep, dark significance into the color of the rose you happen to give one of them, which you will quickly find out if you think that yellow one looked really pretty), and so on and so forth - I absolutely guarantee it. I'm not worried about offending any women with this - you absolutely know, deep in your heart it's all true.

Happy Gorn Day!

Happy Gorn Day!

Gorn with device Star Trek jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
My, what big eyes you have.

I know I am speaking to a select crew here, but you know who you are. Not everybody celebrates Christmas, or New Year's, or Passover, or anything like that. But everyone can celebrate Gorn Day!

Gorn Star Trek TOS jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
"And for my next number...."

For those unfamiliar with Gorn Day, it is the annual celebration of the single best villain in science fiction history. Yes, that includes you-know-who and how-can-a-Gorn-possibly-top that one. It even includes you-can't-possibly-be-serious. The Gorn made his first epic appearance in "The Arena," the classic "Star Trek" episode in which Captain Kirk blew the lumbering, sardonic reptilian alien straight back to his mother ship.

Gorn Sar Trek jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
"Kirk, hisssss, here's your Gorn Day present, hissss, hehehehe"

As seen in "The Arena" (kindly disregard all inferior later depictions except that in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"), a Gorn is strong, brutal, merciful and quick. He also is slow as molasses and about as agile as a rock. Thankfully, he posed with said rock just for us.

Gorn Kirk William Shatner Star Trek TOS jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
"I love you, too. May I suggest some Scope? Ow!"

Each Gorn day is to be celebrated with gifts, one-legged races, bear-hugging, boulder-throwing, mortar fire and general frivolity. Wearing of a toga is strictly optional, unless you are a Metron.

Gorn Kirk William Shatner Star Trek TOS jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
"Kirk... hisssss.... Where'd you go.... hissss.... Oh."

When participating, kindly pick up your very own Gorn Costume from your local Star Fleet shop.

Gorn Star Trek TOS jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
"I hate days like this."

Thank you for your support.


2013

Monday, April 1, 2013

Driving Genius?

Driving Genius jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
Now, let's not be harsh....

I once knew a guy who came in late one morning. He said that he had pulled this type of maneuver - his was getting on a highway from the on-ramp, but it's the same deal - and nobody let him in for half an hour. Now, if that was just a story, it was a pretty good one, better than "the dog ate my homework." But, if true, it was pretty classic. The roomful of people didn't offer him any sympathy.


Best Dog House Ever!

Best Dog House jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
Hey, Get Over Here and Put Me on a Leash!

Now these are dog lovers who care about Fido's self-esteem and sense of dignity. When I'm in the dog house, baby, send me there!


How to Fix Your Sink

fix your sink jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
Now, if you get a little dispenser of Brie cheese, you're set!

Now this is the right way to go about it!

Creative Minds....

Creative minds jjbjorkman.blogspot.com
But being untidy doesn't necessarily mean you are creative!
Here's what to tell that annoying person who's always making snarky comments about your messy bedroom!