Monday, October 6, 2014

Zombie Safe House!

zombie safe house
Do you want to wear the latest in Zombie Chic?
When it comes right down to it, do you want to survive the Zombie Takeover?

The Latest in Zombie Chic!

zombie safe house
Zombie House, complete with hang-glide escape - escape for the moment, anyway

Do YOU want to survive?

We are always trying to be helpful and give suggestions on how to survive the coming zombie catastrophe. It's not entirely altruistic: it will be lonely after the ghouls take over for us survivors.

After all, when your neighbors start pounding at your kitchen window moaning "Morgan, Morgan, we're coming for you Morgan!" you'll want to be able to laugh after your puzzlement about who Morgan is fades away.

So we made this suggestion, and this one.

When we put forward designs for a zombie safe house, though, I know what you're thinking: yeah, but what about when I want to take a bath?

Well, water is always a priority.

zombie safe house
Of course, you can always get too much of a good thing, too.
So, with this design, we solve the whole H20 situation once and for all with: a water tower!

That also goes a long way to solving the food problem. Once you have abundant water, you can grow your own crops on top of your pad. Of course, you might want more farmland than that, so try some vertical farming.

Huh? Yeah. Huh? Yeah. Huh? Sounds tasty.

If you can't quite afford the full deluxe water-tower-safe-house yet, there's an interim solution. All you have to do is build your current house next to a town water tower. Once the zombies arrive, it's all yours! In fact, the zombies may be the very people who ran the water tower before, so it's all good. You know how it is, you never want to go back to the place you used to work for. The zombes don't need water anyway, they'll be out scavenging for road kill and designer threads.

zombie safe house
She may look kind of tasty, but she'll find you a lot tastier.
Here is the text in the diagram that is too small to read:

This safe house makes use of an existing urban fortress – the water tower. With thick, smooth concrete walls and almost no openings, the water tower is ideal for holding off the undead indefinitely. With modest alterations, this safe house is designed to withstand a class 3 zombie outbreak, housing up to 6 survivors long-term in a self-sufficient stronghold.

The water tower is located on the outskirts of suburbia, where zombie numbers are likely to be lower. The existing tower is at the top of a steep hill, cleared of vegetation all around and surrounded by a 10ft chain link fence providing a secure outer perimeter. Importantly there are no external signs of the safe house within the water tower. This will reduce the chance of zombies (or other desperate survivors) seeing the occupants and trying to get in!

When inevitably the safe house is discovered, there are multiple defensive zones to give secondary defensive positions. In the desperate event where the zombies could be not be held back and a full breech occurs there is a final emergency escape – hang gliding off the roof to safety. Supply and equipment packs kept at the top of the tower allow a rapid and prepared get-away, flying across the valley to relative safety.


ROOF TERRACE: Garden / Escape Platform
Roof garden for growing fruit and vegetables. Outdoor exercise and relaxation area. Escape platform for hang-gliders. Walled on all sides so hidden from view.

PLAN 6: Water supply / Technical Equipment
Fresh rainwater is collected from the curved roof and held in the original tank after filtering. Hot water supplied from solar tubes. Electricity from solar cells stored in battery bank. Backup diesel generator in sound proofed room. Emergency escape packs on exit path to roof.

PLAN 5: Armoury / Comms / Workshop
Communications room to contact other survivors. Armoury of weapons to fight the undead and workshop to prepare equipment. Sound proofed to keep workshop noise quiet.

PLAN 4: Gym / Training / Lookout
Main activity level where occupants can keep a 360° lookout around the water tower and do daily physical / combat training.

PLAN 3: Kitchen / Living Level
Kitchen and relaxation area for all 6 occupants. Large food supply storage area.

PLAN 2: Sleeping / Bathroom Level
Sleeping quarters for all 6 occupants. Sound insulated to block out the constant moaning of the undead. Steel manhole hatch isolating from plan 2 below.

PLAN 1: Security Air-lock Level
Steel manhole hatch isolating from entrance level below. Retractable ladder access to plan 2.

PLAN E: Secure Entrance Level
Old water control station with no visual signs of safe house above. Retractable ladder access to plan 1.

New tunnel for access in and out of tower. Steel isolation door halfway in case of breech. Tunnel exit with steel hatch complete with lookout periscope.

Our last candidate was lacking water supplies, but it did at least have a sun deck.


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