A Song for Modern Times

Look, I know how it is: Christmas is great, you watch the holiday shows, you overdose on presents and goodness, the relatives are there and you have to actually put on pants... So, just for temporary relief, we present... Zombie Christmas.


"Zombie Christmas" adapted from Robert L. May, 1939

You know Dasher and Dancer
And Prancer and Vixen,
Comet and Cupid
And Donner and Blitzen.
But do you recall
The most packin' reindeer of all?

Rudolph the hard-assed reindeer
Had a very shiny AK-47
And if you saw him shoot it
You would even say it glows
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names

They never let poor Rudolph
Use the North Pole target range
Then one zombie Christmas Eve
Santa came to say,
"Rudolph with your gun so near
Won't you guard my ride tonight?"
Then all the reindeer loved him
And they shouted out with glee,
"Rudolph the well-armed reindeer
You'll go down in NRA history!"

2019